Life lesson

Serene : Pursue your dreams NOT out of spite. Not 'to take revenge', or 'to prove them wrong' or to be 'better than them'. The people who have hurt you will be gone, will forget, will not care. Don't dedicate anything for them because, by the time you succeed, they will not see, they will be busy minding their own problems, and you don't deserve that emptiness and tiredness. Be drive by YOU. By your own happiness, your own improvement and peace. At the end of the day, you will carry your success story serenely. 

---------------------------------

What is my biggest life lesson that I learned too late?
You don't have to prove to others just to make a point -- being able to become a person that they thought I wouldn't be able to.

There are so many things that they threw at me, and those words were very hurtful and it kind of caused me my confidence. They robbed me of being okay about myself. They managed to make me hate myself because I believed what they told me. I was young and stupid, I guess. Then suddenly one day, I was given a chance to prove them a point. I took that chance, hoping that one day I can show them that I am a person that has more worth than before. I wanted to prove to them that I am not the person that they told me. I just wanted to prove to them that their hatred won't hinder my progress.

At first, I thought this chance was the best decision ever -- true, I created a new life through this decision, but it was more than just ego. I thought I have made my point already with me being able to graduate with a diploma that no one would ever think I'll take. Yes, even I don't believe that I took this diploma. I thought I already made my point, but no.. It wasn't enough for me. I still wanted to prove to them that I can be successful like them. I wanted to prove to them that whatever they threw at me don't affect me anymore. Oh, no. I was dead wrong. They stayed at the back of my mind.

After years, slowly I began to realize that there is something wrong in my life. I began starting to hate life again. I didn't know what was wrong -- until last year. After some retrospection, I realized the big mistake that I made when I was younger, and it brought a huge impact to the future me (and also the present me); I wanted to make a point to people. I lived life that has no meaning -- only just to prove to people. I didn't live life for myself. It was always for others. Always. And I realized it too late.

This is the life lesson that I learned too late. Because you see, life hasn't been great for this few years. (And also it hasn't been well for the past month). I began to lose sight at life, not knowing where to go, because I never did anything for myself. All I did was for people, and that... I wanted revenge. I wanted to let go of my grudges. I wanted to express that pain by being able to become someone new. And, yes. That is not a great decision to make, because it meant that I have to let go of my dreams.

You see... The biggest revenge would be just to follow your dreams and live life for yourself.

Why waste time and energy to prove to people who don't even give a damn? What good did it bring to myself? It only made things harder and becoming harder and harder after years and years having this kind of thoughts. Why is it that I always learn things when it is too late...

So, what should I do now?
I really don't know to be honest. I am just living life right now by going with the flow; but it doesn't mean that I can forget the past and my past mistakes. Ah. I'll just sit here and think back about my life.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women Of Steel

To the women who have been used, Those who have been abused. To the women whose innocence robbed, Those who shall never be the same again. Stay, and stand strong. It may all seem to be gone, Robbed and shattered by reckless men, Ignored by our senseless society, Broken by our own naivety, But stay, and stand strong. To the women who feel dirty and used, Those who fell victim of sweet nothingness. Stay, and stand strong. The nightmares shall pass. Stay, and stand strong. We are still loved and beautiful. Stay, and stand strong. No longer we are the weak women, We are the women of power. Standing strong and tall, And this life is ours to take, And ours to dictate. No longer shall you harrass, No longer shall you abuse. No longer shall you see us as weaklings, For we are women of steel. Stay, and stand strong. - 8th May 2018, 7.19pm
Read more

10 years ago

14/3/2015 In recent time, I have encountered countless questions and requests for advice regarding the issue on intentions and also on challenges. To be honest, I don't think I am fit to be asked these kind of question, because like anyone else, I, too, am still struggling in these matters. Today, I went to a forum conducted by DPIK 6E focusing on a topic regarding challenges, trials and tribulations. The whole forum was beneficial, because most of what was brought up managed to answer some of the said questions above. Matter of fact, it did not only answered those questions, but it brought some peace into my heart that has been aching for a few weeks now. As we all know, when we were given this life, challenges and trials are to be expected. They are inevitable. Allah SWT created men WITH challenges to face. Like what Ust Fadhluzaman had said in the forum, if a person has no sins then the person should be dead, because perfection is something only Allah possesses. Allah SWT is ind...
Read more

Lessons from which...

Oh verily so! This strength is depleting and this emotional combat is nearing its end; which side will win? Depression is something. It is not just a name, but a feeling. The feeling of spiraling downwards, being dragged into an abyss of darkness, being crushed down into the pavement, that feeling of shivering cold, that feeling of being alone and yet still feeling fear. And it just doesn't go away. No matter what I do, it doesn't go away. People would never guess that someone has depression. They might look happy, always filled with laughter and jokes. They are the ones who are so empathetic and always there with a helping hand. They are probably someone with so many aspirations and motivation. They might be someone pious. They look like everyone else. I'll take Robin Williams as an example. In 2014, we lost a great comedian and celebrity. No one ever thought that he was facing depression. You should look at all his interviews, so merry, glee, full of laughter and jokes. N...
Read more