Time is indeed...

As I watched my little nephew (the second child of my older sister) grow, I began to think about how slowly life goes on and without our knowing, time ages us. Have you heard Adele's song : When We Were Young?

That song always remind me of the times I lost , the times I wasted. My youth and adolescent life has long gone, and I am in my half a century. Still a young adult trying to figure out what's my role in my lifetime. Am I someone who withdraws, or someone who can make some change in this world? May it be a small change, I want to be one of the role to be beneficial for the people around me. I remember one teacher that changed my view of life and a few hopes that I can do and take for this life. I learnt to be someone who cares and someone who grasp compassion tightly. Funny that I can describe what I want or what I see now, for words (written as it is) has finally failed me.

I haven't written for ages, and today I feel it the need to write (type that is!).

I thought that maybe if I start writing again, I might be able to write more of the things I learnt in class. I don't want my knowledge to go to waste. Psychology is a course that I have longed desired and when people asked me to consider back my choice, I stand on my ground. This life is mine, and mine to dictate. Nothing more than I want as to finish this degree and finally go out and spend each minute giving back to society. I have been longed gone, for months, for years of being on hiatus and halting all my roles to the society.

My thoughts were always that if I help others, I might help myself, but... As time goes by, I learnt that it's the other way round : If I help myself, then I can help others. It turns out true, because all the things I thought was helpful for other in turn became something that devours and eats me alive. This include the depleting grammar and vocabulary. So also the reason why writing is beginning to be a bit painful and hard. I want to write again; to write something that's beneficial like how I used to.

Maybe I'll just re-post all the previous (beneficial) things from the past. I might, or I might do it now, once I know what to write. For writing is a skill-set that not much acquire. Me? I'm beginning to go back to my writings. As per suggested by many, I might share about the things that I had to go through as a psychiatric patient -- because that's the easiest thing that I can do. However, it is still difficult for me to go through them as triggers are something that I'm trying to avoid, but then they say, it you keep avoiding, nothing will change and change comes from ourselves.

For because of my poem, I am a woman of steel.

A warrior falters but he gets back up and thrive till the end.

PS : I have this way of thought that I can jump from one topic to another. But time is the main point in this post. Time has gone by too fast and I want to capture each moment by writing it down. Hopefully, one day it might be helpful and people can get, at least, a little benefit from it. Prayers for everyone,

Much love,

M.S